Station: [15] The perambulator regulation


Polizist:

Young woman, yes, you there! That won’t do at all!

Junge Mutter:

Officer? What’s the matter?

Polizist:

You really must obey the rules of the road!

Junge Mutter:

But…

Polizist:

Didn’t you read the Perambulator Regulations of July 25th 1900? They state:

Driving a perambulator […] on uncobbled roads is banned.

Exceptions: snow and rain, road works, danger to life and limb of the persons transported, and: use of the routes on doctor’s orders. In that case, you are, however, obliged to carry a permit issued by the authorities and to show it on demand.”

Do you have a permit?

Junge Mutter:

But officer! Why would a have a permit? I just want to pick my Wilhelm up from the station… with our little Erwin, I’m sure you understand?

In the town is constantly growing, so there’s more and more traffic. And sometimes, it gets crowded.

Polizist:

Yes, and it’s for exactly such times that Riesa town council drafted the Perambulator Regulations of July 25th 1900. In an expanding town, such things simply must be regulated. So we can all get on with one another…

Junge Mutter:

Fine, but the only way for me to get to the station is along here. And nor can I take the horse-drawn tram. The pram is much too big and clunky.

Polizist:

Then your Wilhelm will just have to make his way home from the station on his own. After all, that’s what our nice new horse-drawn tram is for. And – between you and me – he’ll get home much quicker than if he has to trail along with you and your little Erwin.

Junge Mutter:

Well, officer, I wouldn’t be so sure about the relative speed. Surely you know our song about the horse-drawn tram –don’t you?

Polizist:

A song?

Junge Mutter:

“Old Riesa is a cosy place, it has a horse-drawn tram,
except one gee-gee just won’t pull, the other one is lame.
The coachman is a hunchback, the wheels are not so round,
and every couple minutes, the contraption runs aground.”

Polizist:

Unbelievable! A song making fun of our wonderful horse-drawn tram!

The horse-drawn tram links our beautiful town of Riesa with the station, which is rather out of the way, and hence improves mobility and quality of life. In doing so, it substantially increases the appeal of our pretty town and promotes population growth, which has had quite a boost in recent years.

Junge Mutter:

Indeed it has, officer. So I’ll be on my way, then. Bye-bye, Mr. Policeman!

Polizist:

Goodbye, young lady. And, erm, do watch out for the horse droppings on the road…